The other day I was running. I had just received some good news and the first thing I thought was, “I should call my dad.” Directly after that thought the realization that I can’t call my dad, hit me. Though these moments are sad I also enjoy them because I love thinking about my dad. I know he would love to receive a call from me with good news. He would be encouraging and loving as he always was. He found the good in everything.
It can be tough for me to sit and write. It has also been tough to keep shooting videos. For four years I have been chronicling my life with my dad and during the end, I just wanted to be with my dad. Time is our most precious resource and I just couldn’t waste a minute more fumbling with a memory card or making sure a battery was charged or setting up a camera when I just wanted all of that time with my dad. I wanted every second together that we had left. It was all worth it. I did shoot some of those final days and I have taken some video since. I plan to keep shooting. There are some developments that I think will work well to help wrap up the story. Maybe they’ll make it into the documentary, maybe they won’t.
Life moves on. In 2014, when I was getting ready to leave for LA my dad encouraged me to go chase my dreams. Even though he had been diagnosed with Parkinson’s and we weren’t sure what that meant for his future, he wanted me to go and to live. What an adventure LA was! Moving forward I know that my dad is encouraging me now. Though it isn’t easy. I keep moving forward. I want to continue to create. Each new day is full of hope and possibility. I don’t always get everything done that I’d like to but I’m here this morning continuing to move forward. I don’t know what the process looks like for everyone else, I guess it doesn’t really matter. I am not everyone else.
Not at all sure what this all means or if it means anything at all. I wanted to write this morning and this is what poured out. Maybe that’s enough for today. I got up before the sun and shared my thoughts about my dad and my hopes and dreams for the future. Perhaps you’re just beginning your day and you can relate. It’s one day at a time.