Meditate until I hear the beep.
This may be possible.
I have not been very consistent with meditation but it has been something I have been wanting to do more often. Every time I take time to do it, I think, “Wow! That was great. I should do that every day.” …And then I don’t do it again for a year.
I was of the belief that if I sat down to meditate and had every single thought I’ve ever had racing through my head at that time that I was doing it wrong. And that’s pretty much what happens. When I sit down to meditate my mind decides that is the perfect time to race through everything I should have done. Everything I haven’t done. Every random thought I could possibly have. Pretty much everything but a still quiet mind focused on breath. I didn’t really enjoy sitting down to do something healthy for myself and then feeling like a complete failure. Not really the peaceful start to the day I had hoped I would get from meditation.
I did some reading and talked to some people who practiced meditation often and found that at the beginning, everyone has random thoughts racing through their head that they can’t control and that everyone has problems focusing on their damn breath when they get started. Okay, so I wasn’t “bad” at meditating. It seems everyone had these struggles. I was told my mind will wander and that’s okay, when I catch my thoughts wandering just simply bring my focus back to my breath - My mind wanders a lot!
It turns out, if I don’t beat myself up for being “bad” at meditating it makes meditating a lot easier.
I am now working to bring morning meditation back into my daily routine. I’m doing what I’m calling my “Coffee Meditation” this is where I wake up, start the coffee brewing and then take that coffee brewing time as my meditation time. It’s probably all of seven to eight minutes before the machine beeps. It isn’t a lot but it’s a start. My usual process is to want to start something and then go whole hog into it! “Oh, I want to meditate more, great! Okay, tomorrow I buy baggy pants like I see those guys wear, I buy a fancy pillow, I fold my legs up in ways they don’t fold and then mediate for no less than a half hour and I better find Nirvana!” …That’s the usual process for starting something new. However, I think coffee meditation to start is more realistic and doable.
Maybe in about a week if I keep at it, I’ll buy the baggy pants, shave my head and start folding my legs but for now it’s seven to eight minutes of bringing myself back to center over and over until I hear the machine beep.